When was the last time you expressed yourself without holding back? How did it feel? Maybe you spent ten minutes on an artistic practice that brought peace to a hectic day. Or maybe you had a tough conversation that brought needed change. Either way, you’ll be better off–and so will your community–the more you express who you are.

This year I’ve been learning a powerful lesson: You can’t make the world better till you get comfy with your voice. “Doing good” can mean a lot of things, of course. To me it runs the gamut between infusing positivity, sparking authentic dialogue, forming community, or even just making spaces prettier. (That’s right: I’m an unapologetic enthusiast of people who generate beauty. I’m proud to live in a metro area where a visitor’s association hires a yarn bomber to decorate the local hockey rink.)

I’m equally proud to live in a city that’s home to one particular badass. Her name is Ivy Kaminsky and she founded a nonprofit called Find Your Power, which “connects underrepresented women worldwide with resources that further education, advocacy, community, and employment.” To make it happen, this gutsy mom faced her fears and restructured her life.

First, she walked away from a stable job at a respected university, instead choosing to devote her talents to helping others. I recently sat down with Ivy to find out more. If you want to make a difference in this world, surround yourself with people who’re doing it already. Envelop yourself with this dose of motivation.

SH: What are your goals for Find Your Power?  

IK: For many women, especially in developing countries, access to the internet is scarce. Beginning with some communities in South Africa, we’re using technology to help women gain independence. [Ivy’s story includes time in both Durban and Capetown, where she witnessed ongoing cycles of abuse. Stories of resilience at places like the Saarjie Baartman Centre inspired her.]

Along with our local, South African, and global community partners, we’re setting up web resources. They include local job searches, free online courses to learn marketable skills, places for selling products, and other needed services.

SH: In what ways does your nonprofit seek to help women find their voice?

IK: The more information people have, the more tools they have for raising their quality of life. They’re more likely to stand up for their rights. It’s important to me to set up a website with resources in many areas, so women can choose how to help themselves.

SH: In what ways has Find Your Power helped you find your own?

IK: Starting FYP helped me find my voice. This decision allowed me to look at other areas of my life and refuse to live small. Living that first step took courage. But it made me look at all my relationships and consider what was benefiting my life and what wasn’t.

Once I made that first leap of giving notice at my job, other actions followed. I started taking an online course on social entrepreneurship [at the Copenhagen Business School.] Its purpose was to write a business plan with a global team.

SH: When it comes to sharing your voice, what challenges do you face?

IK: Public speaking is a challenge. I’m an extrovert who can talk to small groups, anywhere, anytime. But the idea of big groups is something I have to get used to. Every time I agree to give a talk, I take a breath and say, “Yep, I’m doing this.” For me, growth has come with with being uncomfortable.

SH: What opportunities have come your way as a result?

IK: Meeting people has provided opportunities for real connection. When I see other people doing things, I can start to consider them for myself. For instance, this job depends on partnerships. Finding partners requires me to ask for things, and asking makes me uncomfortable. But every time I have, it’s been a growth opportunity and it’s been good.

While Ivy spoke these words, I typed as quickly as I could. The interview happened in about 15 minutes, in stolen moments between meetings. I’m just now processing the power of her message, as I take the time to write this post.

And I’ve just realized a funny thing: If I hadn’t done my own uncomfortable thing and started this blog, I’d never have met Ivy in the first place. I’m grateful my way of voice-finding led me to hers. Now, I can only hope it can help connect you to yours.

 

You can’t change the world till you find your people. This is a story of shared transformation, and I invite you along. Through a contact at Impact Hub Minneapolis-St. Paul, I met wholistic consultant Julie Delene of Move as One this spring. Within minutes, we both knew we had work to do, together.

We’ve teamed up to create this blog series, The Soulful Sidebiz. I’m following my call to help people find my voice, and Julie’s providing tools for creating change. We hope to inspire you on your own journey of transformation, whatever it may be. Here’s to aligning passions with goals!

The Soulful Side Biz Series (Part 3)
For me, the desire to build a side business came from being burned out. At 42, I’ve reached the 20-year mark for working full time. Most were spent (and still are) at a nonprofit whose mission I support deeply. It’s brought the fulfilllment many workers seek, but often at a cost. For years I volunteered to help with any and every task, without realizing the endless pace would eventually affect my health.

I’ve also learned a thing or two about personal burnout, as I rebuilt my life after divorce several years ago. At the time, my ex and I worked hard to end things amicably, a feat I appreciate to this day. Still, achieving this relative peace took a lot out of me. It was also preceded by a trip to rehab for him and the Hazelden family program for me.

From Burnout to Inspiration

If you have an alcoholic/addict in your life, I know how tiring the experience can be. I can’t say enough good things about the self-care strategies I learned in the family program, and I hope you have access to something similar. Spoiler alert: While helpful, this may involve a LOT of crying.

Fast forward to now. Life has stabilized. No longer in survival mode, I actually have energy for growth. (Can I get a “Hell, yes!”) Wonderfully, growth brings adventure. But it can be disorienting, too. Deep down I sense there’s more I want and need to do.

The more I explore this feeling, the more exciting–and unsettling–it gets. At times I’ve been tempted to call this process a midlife crisis, but I don’t like being stuck with words others pin on us. The desire to reboot can bring out your best self, if you’re willing to work through the uncertainty. Maybe “midlife opportunity” is more like it.

A New Mentor Crosses My Path
For these reasons, I was thrilled to meet Julie Delene, a consultant who guides clients to combine mindfulness with action. So far, I’ve had three sessions with her. Each has brought a powerful insight that’s led me to take action toward my building my side biz.

I look forward to Julie’s sessions, where I get to play 5 Mindful Moves. It sparks conversations around fulfilling my true intentions. Julie takes me through a series of questions. I pull a card from each deck and answer its prompt:

• Map where you are
• Open your body, mind, heart
• Visualize what you want
• Engage co-creation
• Sustain momentum

Suzi’s Happy Place
This session’s best insight came to me through Question #2. I’m paraphrasing here, but the card asked me to describe my happy place. Where do I feel most joyful and safe, it wanted to know. I thought for a moment, then started describing the monthly gathering for my local chapter of an organization called Live Your Legend.

Julie’s face lit up as I told her how energized I feel at LYL meetings, among people who’re actively changing they way they live, work, and play. “That’s it!” she exclaimed. “These are your people. No matter what business you end up building, people like this’ll be your audience, too. Those who want to change the status quo.” She was right, of course, but this had never occurred to me. I knew how good it felt to spend time with people who get me, but I’d never considered the connection to my business and its audience.

Biz-Building Takeaway: Don’t underestimate your unique point of view. Picture your happy place, then think about how you can bring this feeling to your audience.

How Can Crafting Change the World?

Suddenly, Julie had attached greather importance to my business goals. I’d always envisioned crafters as my audience–and I proudly still do–but now I realized something new, too. On some level, I’m trying to change the world. What draws me to crafters is that they make something from nothing. They draw beauty from chaos. And yet, the word crafters somehow makes these folks seem less important, frivolous somehow.

What I see now is that crafting is everything but frivolous. It’s an important act, and it can influence everything from paper projects to attitudes to jobs to community.  I want to surround myself with makers, and I want to help cultivate more of them in this world. Sure, decorating Altoid tins is a part of it, but using your hands is just one tool. There are many ways to find your voice and make a difference. I want to explore more of these tools, especially entrepreneurship.

I look forward to my next session with Julie, and I wonder what it’ll reveal. So, what about you? What’s your  happy place? And what can it teach you about making your world a better place?

 

 

If you and I were sitting down for coffee, I’d love to ask what you think of the saying, “Leap and the net will appear.” I, for one, have a hot-and-cold relationship with this philosophy. Deep down, I believe there’s some kind of spiritual truth to it, and I’d be lying if I told you I haven’t experienced examples of it in my life.

On the other hand, I’m a gal who likes to make things happen. And when I say this, here’s what I really mean: I. WILL. MAKE. THINGS. HAPPEN. And I’ll do it perfectly, for crying out out loud, right now. The over-functioner in me has a tough time accepting any correlation between achieving success and loosening my grip on control.

Now, I’m about to embark on a new quest for balancing planning and letting go. After fifteen years at the same nonprofit, I’m also starting a side business related to helping people find their voice. For two years I’ve been blogging about the challenges and joys of finding my own. (How do you find your voice, I wonder?) For me, the best tools include crafting, writing, self care, and–ultimately, I hope–entrepreneurship.

But here’s the deal: Starting a business is no joke. Exploring how you want to serve the world is a process that stirs all kinds of emotions, ideas, and uncertainties. As a mentor recently told me, “If you want to get some therapy, start a business or start making art.” Indeed, the past few months have brought more upheaval than I care to admit.

Then, three weeks ago, I met someone to help guide my path. Enter mindfulness coach and founder of Move as One, Julie Delene. For more than 20 years, Julie’s been empowering individuals and organizations to have mindful conversations and take action. She and I met through a contact at Impact Hub, the Minneapolis co-working space where both of us are members.

Now, she’ll be coaching me on my journey toward entrepreneurship, and I invite you to follow along. I’ll record my experiences through a new series, The Soulful Side Biz, which’ll appear on my blog and hers. I can tell already that Julie’s emphasis on embodied decision-making will do me a world of good. I don’t know about you, but I get stuck in analysis mode, which–yep–leads to plenty of paralysis.

Lucky for me, Julie’s developed a game to spark dialogue during coaching. 5 Mindful Moves gets to the heart of what players what to create in work and life. The point is to reduce stress, renew passion, and improve decision-making. I’m excited to find out where this will lead. And, as always, I’m curious to hear your thoughts about mindfulness. Feel free to comment!

 

 

If you wanted to bring change to your life, what would you do to make it happen? Some pals and I were discussing this over dinner recently. While enjoying our Nepalese curry, one of my girlfriends made a comment that spurred me into action. “If you really want to make things happen,” she said, “you’ve got to get out of the house.” She was referring to career change–I’m building a side business–but her advice can inspire action for any woman leader in our web-focused world.

For me, spending hours online feels like getting things done. And, yes, this can often be the case. After all, Facebook communities and online courses have been two of my most powerful tools for gathering resources related to my side hustle. But I lean toward introversion and can be fooled into believing the internet is all I need. After dinner that night, while browsing the web, my friend’s words blasted into my mind. So, I decided to change things up. “Here goes,” I thought. I took a breath and searched for ways to get out of the house.

Two weeks later I found myself at an event called #WomenLeadMSP. More than 70 women gathered at a Minneapolis co-working space called Impact Hub to talk about authenticity. To be exact, the meeting’s topic was fierce authenticity. Led by WomenLeadMSP and the Minneapolis Hub of Global Shapers, the goal was to celebrate women’s leadership while participants shared stories, experienced personal growth, and found community.

Their promo had had me at “emerging leaders,” and I was excited for this chance to experience “speakers and discussions on topics like making hard decisions and knowing your worth.” I’d driven across town on a Saturday morning, navigated the hip neighborhood, and located the historic building’s bright yellow door. I wandered through the room and claimed my spot at a table of strangers.

Three hours later, I’d indeed internalized some valuable lessons. Thanks to the speakers, my table mates, and even the space itself, I learned some things that continue to shape my thinking. As a sassy woman yourself, you already know that authenticity doesn’t come easy. To achieve your goals of making change, you’re gonna need to break out all the fierceness you can muster. As you do, I hope these lessons can help you as much as they help me.

Five Lessons for Fierce, Authentic Women Leaders

Lesson 1: Stop Apologizing

All right, ladies, this is a tricky one. Particularly for mid-lifers like me who grew up in a society that often rewarded me for not standing out, apologizing for ourselves is longstanding practice. “Stop apologizing” was a direct message shared by one of our speakers. A biomaterials researcher who’s also a mom, this particular academic spent years worrying about her manner of speech. She considered it too casual, when compared to her fellow professors. Eventually she owned her accessible tone, realizing it was actually a strength that enhanced audience connection.

“Stop playing down your contributions,” she urged us all. She reminded us that showcasing our skill sets is crucial for growth. Habitual apologies can be a form of excuse for avoiding taking the risks that will bring new learning. I believe a first step is recognizing how often we apologize. If you need a refresher, check out Amy Schumer’s apology panel sketch, which skewers this phenomenon.

A friend of mine experienced a similar reminder firsthand, at a rock camp she attended for women. Every time an attendee said, “I’m sorry,” camp organizers gestured toward her and proclaimed, “You rock!” As you can imagine, this group of rockers learned fast how often they openly apologized for their words, their mistakes, and often–their very presence in the room. I, for one, am grateful for leaders like this who are helping us all change this habit. Enough!

Lesson 2: This Is An Adventure, So Enjoy It

As an artist, I tend to be influenced by my surroundings. I notice and respond to aesthetics, so I was immediately drawn to Impact Hub Minneapolis-St. Paul’s attractive space. A series of modern images adorn the interior brick wall, arranged in an artful way. At the front of the room hangs a map with the giant suggestion, “THIS IS AN ADVENTURE.” This reminder can be helpful to any of us, but I say women in particular need to hear it.

For me, this is an especially meaningful antidote to the perfectionism that can leave me stymied. Searching for an explanation just now, I discovered a mental health clinic in Nashville that summed it up just right. If anyone would know about 7 Lies Women Believe and the Limitations They Create, it’d be practitioners of recovery and mental wellness. Though I’m not a professional and have no association with this clinic, I do know what it feels like to get stuck in this “I must be perfect” mindset.  Allowing myself to live life as adventure, a curiosity to explore, helps me get unstuck from unrealistic expectations of faultlessness.

Lesson 3: Niceness Only Gets You So Far

Periodically throughout the event, our Twitter feed was projected onto the wall via an LCD projector. (For you uninitiated out there, a hashtag is a short phrase people can use to organize conversation around a topic on social media.) Any comment written with the label “#WomenLeadMSP,” could be seen by others viewing that category. In this case, the organizers culled these responses and displayed them on a large screen for all to see.

I love that one of the participants had this to say: “Minnesota niceness . . . I can’t stand that.” What a fitting description of fierce authenticity! Residents of my adopted home state are known for being nice on the surface, but difficult to befriend for real. This article from the Star Tribune covers the dichotomy well. I’ve never been a fan of cocktail-level conversations, but at the same time it’s only been in recent years I’ve grown more comfortable owning my own strength. Rather than trying to maintain our nice veneers, I can only hope more women leaders come into their own.

Lesson 4: Surround Yourself with Models of What You Can Do

One reason getting out of the house is so important is that we need to break out from our heads, which can limit us in a hurry. You’ve probably heard the famous quote by American entrepreneur and author Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” We cannot underestimate the power of surrounding yourself with models of what’s possible.

At this meeting, I heard speeches from a founding principal of an elementary school, the policy director at the Women Organizing Women (WOW) Network, a women’s empowerment and LGBT advocate in Minnesota and India, and a consultant across multiple industries.

Lesson 5: Your Future Self Needs You

Man, we spend a lot of time rushing from place to place. Looking back now, I realize I spent the better part of my thirties feeling overwhelmed, hurriedly fixing every conceivable problem at work and at home. It took me months of sustained anxiety to finally slow myself down.

Now that I know how it feels to think straight for more than a hot minute, I’ve focused more on what’s coming next. They say living in the future isn’t healthy (and I tend to agree), but numbing every day doesn’t exactly set a person up for an intentional destiny. I have different goals now, and for the past year and a half I’ve devoted my free time to writing, making things, and learning entrepreneurial skills.

What about you? What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?