Okay, y’all, I admit it: I hate my calendar. Just thinking about it makes me cringe, and some days I can hardly muster the energy to even look at it. I spend weekdays in a cortisol-fueled state of urgency, hour after hour, not slowing down till I come home and our golden retriever greets me at the door. Even then, I blow past her and immediately start prepping dinner.
Weekends are considerably better, but the time monster still lurks in the background. A voice in my head taunts me, “These are your only two days to yourself. Are you sure you can spend this hour reading, and not doing something productive?” It doesn’t matter that reading provides a variety of benefits. My guilt around time isn’t particularly rational. Because reading is enjoyable and involves lying on the couch, I have a hard time allowing myself to do it.
But yesterday, it happened! About four o’clock, after half-finishing a few projects on the should list, I finally coaxed myself out of auto mode. I surrounded myself with a magazine, my Kindle, and a stack of books. Sure, I had time for just one, but having the others nearby made me feel better. I grabbed a pillow off the bed, put Pandora on a cello station, covered myself in a fuzzy blanket, and read.
And here’s the thing. The hour I spent on that couch energized me more than all the others that day, combined. I’d awoken yesterday morning so drained I didn’t even want to get up. So the fact that my down time actually gave me energy–enough that I was inspired with new ideas–counts as a victory.
So, what about you? If you had a time-free hour this week, how would you spend it? And how would you want to feel when you were done? I wrote this post for one reason: To give you a plea to find that hour this week. I’m imploring you to ditch time completely. Take off that i-Watch, put your phone out of reach, and please, get lost in the moment. I don’t care whether you read or take a walk or indulge yourself in the adult coloring book craze. Just make it happen, okay?
I absolutely understand this! I can totally relate to your introspection, “These are your only two days to yourself. Are you sure you can spend this hour reading, and not doing something productive?” I do this all the time. Plus, I have a very curious mind so I always end up wanting to do about 80 things and can only squeeze about 5. I often think of people and go – how in the world do they do it all? I like that idea of reading. For some reason I end up reading when I am trying to learn something and not for fun. I have tons of fiction books that I’ve started and never get past chapter 1. I should try this!
I get lost in time when I’m in nature. The scenery helps me breathe in the moments and breathe out the hustle and bustle. I don’t like to talk about it ahead of time because it causes me to think about the rest of the day and all the sudden I have a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t do it. It’s usually a Saturday morning where if I get out of the house with tennis shoes on and no shower I actually will go for a long slow jog-walk at Lake Elmo County Park or Afton State Park. I find this time invaluable and precious. I pray a lot and I feel my soul ease up. It is incredible what nature can do to your daily life. Flowers on my tiny porch preach of time not in our control. And Balance is HUGE! I purposely deny myself the ability to continuously work and feel obligated. I think this is what most adults miss. Yes, we all need to work but 15 minutes of play only makes us work better and enjoy what we do. Kind of like… “whistle while we work” song from a Disney Movie sometime ago. Or … my Dad making washing dishes fun just because we could add bubbles or tease each other. Find Play in almost everything. 😉
Kara, you and I need to spend more time together, man!! I’m so glad our paths crossed. The 80 fun and creative things I want to do every hour usually turn into mindless surfing. Boo. Not this morning, though. Today I chose just ONE of the things on my list I knew would isnpire me–replying to you. Funny: I call my long slow jog-walks “ruwalks.” (As in run-walk.) And yeah, I have a way easier time letting myself buy books for learning, rather than spending time on fiction, which seems so decadent. Even though thinking this way just can’t be healthy. Sounds like your dad knew this when you were growing up; I love his infusion of play into the dish-washing. I’m ready to sign up for some Lake Elmo/Afton walks soon. Let’s do it!
Suzi, You’re not the only one who feels guilty about being unproductive. Who’s to say reading is unproductive anyway?
I’m glad you enjoyed your time-free hour.
Me? I think I’d take a short nap (15-minutes), play a few rounds of Mahjong, and then relax out on the patio with a cold drink. Yes, that’s exactly what I’d do.
Sara, your plan for a time-free hour sounds intensely satisfying! More patio time would make for better society. I’ve never played Mahjong, but when I think of it, I picture communities of women connecting. Wonderful! Thanks for commenting. I’m enjoying following you on Twitter!